You're a git ya know that?
by tenneyshoes
Summary: basically my version of the 7th book
1. convincing

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING FROM HARRY POTTER, WISH I DID THOUGH CUZ ROWLING IS SCREWING UP ROYALY.**

**Anyways, this is kinda what I think will happen in the 7th book and maybe after. So enjoy.**

**Tenneyshoes**

Harry Potter sat in his room on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, where he had conveniently nailed a picture of his ex-girlfriend, Ginny Weasley. He knew he shouldn't have but he missed her.

"Ooooooh, Haaaaaaaaaarry" came the obnoxious voice of his cousin, Dudley Dursley.

"What do you want Dudley? I'm busy."

"No you aren't" said the boy walking in through the recently opened door. Upon seeing Harry staring up at the ceiling he looked up.

"Hey is that one of those American Super Models or something?" asked Dudley.

"Yeah, Dud. I was going out with a Super Model from America." Said Harry sarcastically.

"You were not going out with her! She is way to pretty for you. Why would she go out with a freak with powers like yours." Asked Dudley.

"Oh I don't know, maybe cuz I saved her life in her first years at my school, and she has magical powers of her own. Just maybe." Said Harry shrugging.

"Oh so you were blackmailing her to go out with you? That's just low, even I wouldn't do that."

"Actually, I wouldn't dare blackmail her, cuz she could whoop my sorry butt, and hex me into oblivion, plus she has six older brothers who are really over protective, and if there was anything left of me after she was done, there wouldn't be when her brothers where done. Especially since her brother is my best mate." Said Harry sitting up and finally taking his eyes off of the moving picture of Ginny at the Burrow and making room for his cousin to sit down.

Harry had been back at Privet Drive for a month, and in that time, Dudley had noticed that Harry was different and had decided to give him a break, especially after he had read a newspaper he had found in his room, saying that Harry had just lost his Headmaster who was like a father to him, and he had to go and either kill or be killed by an evil wizard.

To tell you the truth, Dudley had come to respect his cousin after reading that article, and after reading some of the other crap a lady named Rita Skeeter had written about him, he really appreciated how Harry never complained about anything.

"Well, the reason I came up here was Dad wants you downstairs. Don't ask me why he just told me to tell you. But you might want to get cleaned up a little, cuz there are some guests downstairs." And with that Dudley stood and walked out of the room.

Harry quickly got cleaned up and walked downstairs into the kitchen. Upon seeing no one and hearing voices from the living room he walked in to see seven heads of shocking red and a very bushy one of brown.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" yelled his uncle. "YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS EXPLAINING TO DO!"

"I'm sorry Uncle I didn't know they were coming." Harry apologized.

"That's not why he's mad." Said the youngest male redhead. Ron. "He's mad cuz he found out why you came to him really, found out all the crap you've been put through, both by the Ministry and yourself."

"What have I put myself through?" asked Harry, he really wasn't looking forward to getting hexed by five older brothers, and pranked by the two youngest Weasleys.

"You broke up with me your git," said the youngest one in the room. Ginny. "You really are a moron. Ya wanna know why? First off, Tom is gonna go after me anyway. When I was in the chamber he said he picked me cuz he liked me. As in _like, _like. I don't know why but that's what he said. Then there's the fact that you said Malfoy and Snape would tell Tom about us so you had to break up with me. You seem to have overlooked the fact that they both left **_before_** you broke up with me, so they don't know we aren't together anymore. So tell me, did you break up with me cuz you want to protect me, which is one thing I don't need with six older brothers, or do you just not like me?" Said Ginny glaring at Harry the whole time.

"Trust me Ginny, he still likes you, he has pictures of you all over his wall in his room, and when I went up to tell him, he was staring at one on the ceiling. I think he's been doing that all day, cuz I haven't seen him before now." Said Dudley. Even if he and Harry were becoming like brothers, that didn't mean he couldn't embarrass him in front of his ex- girlfriend.

Harry looked around the room. The first thing he saw was Fred and George playing with something in their hands, that was enough to convince him to get back together with Ginny.

"Okay, I was stupid. I just don't want anything to happen to anyone. I thought distancing myself would stop that. And I especially didn't want anything to happen to Ginny."

"Harry something is going to happen to me anyways. It's a war. Things happen to everyone. It's a fact of life."

"Well, I suggest you get over here and kiss our sister before the twins do something very bad to you." Said Percy who miraculously was there. Harry wondered why. He would ask later. At the moment he had a girlfriend to kiss.

**Well did you like it? It kinda sucked I know but o well. Process and Reply which is just a weird way to say R and R. if you do you get a big homemade cookie, made y yourself. **

**Tenneyshoes**


	2. surprises

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER, STUPID ROWLING DOES, WE SHOULD FIX THAT.**

**Anyways guys review the only review I got was from my cousin. So no cookies for anyone else.**

**Tenneyshoes**

After Harry and Ginny finally split, with a little help from Bill and Charlie, they we confronted by Uncle Vernon.

"Alright, why didn't you tell us any of this boy?" he asked pointing an accusing finger at Harry.

"Didn't tell you all of what?" asked Harry genuinely confused.

"Why didn't you tell us, you had a girlfriend, you were still being chased by that wizard who killed you parents, your headmaster was dead, your teacher was working for said evil wizard, and you had fought a dragon and broken the school record of being the first first year in over a century to be on a house team to play quidditch?" asked Aunt Petunia, counting off on her fingers.

"How do you know what quidditch is?" asked Harry.

"I played it. So has your uncle." Harry and the others sat in shock, muggles playing quidditch?

"We are actually wizards Harry. I went to Hogwarts when your mother did. That's where I met Vernon."

"Okay I'm lost. If you guys are magical then why did you put me through all that crap? Do you really hate magic?" asked Harry shaking his head.

"No. We didn't tell you because your mother asked us not to. Think about it. She was a Potter making you a Potter, you would get enough publicity as it was, she didn't want you to grow up with that, so she asked us if we could take him in after Petunia made a prophecy that your parents would die not long after you were born." Said Uncle Vernon.

"We put you through all that because we knew you would go back to the Wizarding World eventually, and we didn't want you to be cocky and stupid like Malfoy. Yes we knew Lucias Malfoy. We wanted to know that when you went into the other world without us you wouldn't become a snob. So we treated you like you were nothing special when you really were like a son to us. You have no idea how hard it was to put you through all that, especially when it was my hand your mother broke after your father's, godfather's, and somewhat uncle Remus's hands." Said Uncle Vernon.

"So does that mean that now that I know you guys are gonna come back into the Wizarding World?" asked Harry kind of hopefully. They may have treated him like crap before, but he really believed them.

"Yes. And I think we will enroll Dudley in Hogwarts. He was supposed to go with you your first year, but I bound his magic, we didn't want you finding out." Said Aunt Petunia.

"Well I can take care of all of those things at the Ministry for you if you would like?" offered Percy.

"That reminds me, why are you here? I thought you were fighting with your family."

"Not really, I just did that to get the Minister off my back. I am a spy for the Order. I watch everything that goes on in there, and keep track of Umbridge. Boy am I glad I got out of Hogwarts before she came in. That must have been a nightmare." Said Percy matter of factly.

Just then the fireplace erupted in Green Flames. And out stepped four people, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, and none other than Albus Dumbledore and Sirius Black.

**Oh boy if you want more and a giant cookie then review. Thanks guys, bye I gtg to volleyball.**

**Tenneyshoes**


	3. explination

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER!**

**So really sorry I haven't updated in forever. And thanks to my three reviewers. And I'm sure Rowling isn't planning on bringing back Dumbledore and Sirius, but they are way to cool to let them die off. And Sleepzombie. I don't care what you think. You little poop you got to go to Mexico for Spring Break. And besides you don't like a Harry Ginny paring so hush. And to those of you that are wondering how I know zombie doesn't like that pairing They are my cousin. So anyways on with the story.**

**Tenneyshoes**

Immediately, seven wands were pointing at the two Slytherins. The younger people just stood in shock, besides Ginny who immediately jumped forward and did a roundhouse kick on Malfoy, before turning to Snape and making him fall flat on his back. Apparently Ginny had been taking some self-defense classes in Ottery St. Catchpole. (Is that the name of the town the Weasleys live by?)

Bill and Charlie quickly followed their sister and held the two men down while they struggled, that is until Dumbledore spoke.

"Well, that wasn't quite the welcome I had expected, but it is understandable." He said smiling at the youngest Weasley, who promptly blushed before having her legs swept out from under her by a certain blonde ferret.

"OUCH! You little prat! Charlie you had better move if you don't want some green bats flying around your head," Ginny said menacingly, pulling out her wand and glaring at Malfoy.

"Miss Weasley, please. Let me explain." Dumbledore tried to intervene, before he was held back by Sirius.

"That might not be the best of ideas Albus. By the way nice kick, Ginny."

Sirius's plan succeeded. He had effectively distracted Ginny from killing Malfoy with his own snot. Ginny turned to him, glared for about thirty seconds before launching herself at Sirius, and hugging him.

The man laughed as he hugged the girl who was practically his little sister. The two separated once Dumbledore cleared his throat, meaning he wanted Ginny's attention.

"What are these two doing here?" Harry asked motioning to Snape and Malfoy. "And you two are supposed to be dead." 

"Gee Harry, I thought you like me. That's a bummer, oh hey, what's up Simba?" Sirius asked waving at Vernon.

"Simba?" asked all the Weasleys.

"We'll explain later. Sim, do you have wards on this place?" Sirius asked turning his attention back to Vernon.

"No, Petunia and I haven't put any magic on this place. We didn't want Harry to sense it."

"Okay, then I suggest we head over to Grimaulde Place. We will explain everything there." And with that, Sirius pulled out a brown sac full of green powder, stepped over Snape and Malfoy, stepped into the fireplace, threw down the powder, and yelled "Number 12 Grimaulde Place."

Dumbledore smiled before turning to the others and motioning for everyone to take a pinch of Floo Powder from the bag Sirius had handed him before departing. Bill and Charlie lifted Snape and Malfoy up and dragged them through the fireplace with them. Everyone but Ginny, Harry, and Dumbledore had left. Before Harry could go through, Dumbledore held him back. "I want to talk to the two of you after all of this is sorted out." Ginny and Harry nodded and both proceeded to go through the fireplace.

Upon arriving in the kitchen of Grimaulde Place, Harry saw that Snape and Malfoy had been tied to two kitchen chairs. Harry also noticed that there were other occupants in the kitchen besides the Weasleys that had come to Privite Drive. Order members were also present. Harry saw Sirius hugging Lupin as the two were reacquainted with each other. He also watched as the two walked over to his uncle and started talking about the good old days in school. Hermione ran over and started talking with Ginny about girl things, while all the older Weasleys were lectured by their mother for leaving without telling her and going to a muggle house.

"But mum," Fred argued, "the Dursleys are magic. Just ask them."

"I already know they are. I was with them in school. Petunia was in my year. But that's not the point. What if they had muggle company over? Then what would you have done?"

Harry just laughed. Even with the war as bad as it was, the Weasleys were never going to change.

After ten minutes of talk everyone was seated around the table. McGonagall (How do you spell that?), Kingsley, Mad Eye, and Tonks were all present. Dumbledore stood and smiled at everyone.

"I suppose you are all wondering how Sirius and myself are standing in front of you." Several people nodded. "Well, first, could we please release Severus and Mr. Malfoy?"

Immediately there was an uproar.

"They are traitors!" the twins yelled.

"They are worse than Dragons, the little backstabbers," Charlie bellowed.

"They killed, or tried to kill you, or whatever. The point is, they almost succeeded," Bill roared.

"They are criminals," Mr. Weasley and Percy yelled together.

"They're greasy haired ferrets!" This was yelled by five people and actually got some laughs. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Mad Eye had all hollered this at the same time, all with looks to kill, glaring at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore just held his hands up for quiet. Once this had been established he continued, "They are not traitors, backstabbers, assassins, or greasy haired ferrets. Criminals, maybe, but they are also allies. Now please untie them. And take the twins' dirty socks out of their mouths please."

As soon as Malfoy's gag was taken away turned to Dumbledore. "I tried to tell you they wouldn't believe you. They aren't going to trust me. Not after what happened in school."

"You would be surprised Mr. Malfoy, at who these people and more directly, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny trust."

"Professor, please don't bring that up."

Everyone looked at the youngest Weasley. Ginny's face was hidden behind her red hair.

"Ginny, that was not what I was referring too. I was referring to the fact that you four have trusted Hagrid, his brother, and all the other people you have come in contact with since you met. What really surprised me is that you immediately trusted Sirius and me without any questions."

"Then tell us all how you two are alive, and why we should trust those two," said Harry jerking his head in the direction of Malfoy and Snape.

"Sirius, why don't you tell them how you are back first."

"Alright, well I used to work in the Department of Mysteries, more specifically, in the ampeheater with the Arch. I know how it works. It's kind of hard to explain though so I won't go into detail right now. The point it, one of my buddies from work fell through it once, and I wasn't about to let him stay there. So I worked on figuring it out. And I figured out how to cross back to this world. It took me a while to come back because it was harder than I thought when you don't have someone alive to pull you through."

Dumbledore was satisfied with this explanation and decided it was his turn. "Well, I never died. I used to be the Transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts, so I just changed one of my many little trinkets into a carbon copy of me. I put a few other spells on it, and that is what lies in my tomb back on the school grounds."

"But Professor, I saw you get hit. And no spell can make a transfigured object talk in a normal conversation," Harry said, a little confused.

"I know. Severus hit me with a minor disarming charm. Not the killing curse. On my little trip to the ground, Fawks picked me up, carried me to my office where I picked up the trinket. He flew me down to where you found me, I planted the fake me, you found it,

and walla."

"But Malfoy still tried to kill you," Ron intervened.

"No, I convinced him earlier in the year to take my offer for safety. He accepted and here he is. And I trust all of you to treat him as a guest. Now I have some work to do. The Hogwarts letter still need to be written and sent out. Minerva, I could use a little help."

"Of course Albus." And so the two professors left.

Everyone in the room turned to glare at Malfoy or Snape, depending on ages.

"So Padfoot, Mooney, what should we do to Snivellus? I haven't been able to prank him in years, and I do believe he is overdue for a prank." Said Vernon, turning to Sirius and Lupin.

"Hold up. I'm confused. How do you know these two Uncle?" Harry asked pointing at his Godfather and adoptive uncle.

"I was right along with them and your father pranking the entire school." Vernon said with an evil grin.

"Oh yes, Simba here came up with most of our pranks. He was quite the little trickster," said Lupin thumping Vernon on the back.

"Did I hear what I think I heard, which is what I think they said, which is what they really said? Could it be true Forge?" asked Fred, turning to his twin.

"I believe it is Gred. Is it true? Are you two _the_ Mooney and Padfoot? Of the Marauders that created the Marauder's Map?" George asked stepping forward.

"I think we have some fans boys," said Sirius, laughing.

"Indeed they are. They made that thing just after they could change. I didn't get my name on it though. I hadn't gotten my Animugus form yet. (Is that how you spell that? I don't want to go get my book.) T'is a pity really," said Vernon shaking his head.

"Oh yeah, I forgot Vernon. Can you still change?"

"Of course. Stand back everyone, I'm not as young as I used to be." Vernon messed up his face, a lot like Neville did when he tried to do a hard spell. Within the minute there was a strong lion standing in the middle of the kitchen. Sirius and Lupin laughed heartily. Vernon changed back before sitting in a chair.

"Hey get your little butt back here!"

Everyone turned to stare at Ginny. They then looked at where she was glaring. Malfoy had tried to sneak out. "Park it Ferret! We still have to talk to you."

"Calm down Ginny. Dumbledore told us to treat him as a guest. Now it's late. We can talk more in the morning but right now let's get everyone to bed," Sirius said. "Molly, you're better at this stuff than I am. Can you figure out some sleeping arrangements?"

"I already have. Ginny and Hermione will sleep in the same room. Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, and George can lay out some sleeping bags in the study. Sirius, Remus, I'm sorry, but you will have to share a room with Snape, we still aren't done cleaning out all of the rooms. Arthur and I will go back to the Burrow. It has plenty of wards, and Harry, Ron, and Draco will share a room. No Arguing," Molly added as she saw all three boys open their mouths to protest. And with that everyone trooped up to their rooms, the ones that weren't staying leaving via Floo Powder.

**Well, hope you liked it. Review please and thanks.**

**Tenneyshoes**


	4. Actually human

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING HARRY POTTER!**

**So really sorry I haven't updated in forever. I'm bad at that. And I have writer's block so yeah here is the next chapter so far, Enjoy.**

**Tenneyshoes**

Harry and Ron trailed up the stairs walking out of the kitchen. They had been the last ones in the kitchen after everyone else had gone to bed, besides Malfoy. The boys quietly stepped into the hallway tiptoeing past Mrs. Black's picture. They had almost made it past when they heard a sneering voice say, "Great, now I'm stuck in…"

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! What are you filth doing back here?! You are mucking up my beautiful house with your blood-traitor ways, and mudbloods!"

Harry and Ron whipped around and tackled Malfoy. "You idiot! Can't you keep your mouth shut for five minutes!?" Harry hollered over Mrs. Black's shrieks.

"SHUT UP YOU HAG!!!! I AM SO SICK OF YOU SCHREECHING THE SAME STUPID LINE EVERYTIME A PIN DROPS IN THIS HALLWAY!" Ginny came barreling down the stairs, jumping the banister with about another quarter of the stairs still to go. She blew her hands at the picture of Mrs. Black and the frame blew off, the picture still in tack. (I know I stole that from Charmed, but I love Piper's power, and I think it kinda fits Ginny in this story) Seeing that not work, Ginny flicked her wrists making Mrs. Black freeze.

The seething red-head turned on the boys, piled on top of each other. "YOU! You little moron! Shut the heck up! And if you don't learn to do that, I will personally blow your mouth off. I swear I will. And Harry, remind me to blow this picture up tomorrow. I am so sick of this… _thing_." With that Ginny turned on her heel, and trudged back up the stairs.

Malfoy was still under the boys, looking after the fiery red-headed girl with a look of horror, awe and strangely something else. Harry almost blew up when he realized it was with longing, as if Malfoy wanted to have Ginny to himself. That fantasy was going to end now!

The two boys dragged the third up the stairs into their room. They dropped him on his butt. Ron shut and locked the door, while Harry glared down at Malfoy, who was still in shock at seeing the youngest Weasley like that. He had always thought of her as the baby who got stuck in the Chamber of Secrets. When she was on the Quidditch team he had never paid any attention to her, focusing on Potter only, but now that he actually saw her, he was thinking the same thing over and over again, she is HOT!

"You sleep on the floor," Ron said as he passed Malfoy, making a beeline to his bed.

"Ron, do you think we should leave to door unlocked?" asked Harry, his eyes not leaving Malfoy.

"Why?" asked the red-headed boy cautiously?

"Well, we need to give Kreecher something interesting to do in the morning. Why not let him poke at Malfoy? That could be interesting," said Harry pretending Malfoy was not in the room, besides the fact that he was still glairing at him.

"Who the heck is Kreecher? Is that another one of your millions of siblings Weasel?"

"No." Ron's fingers curled into fists as his ears turned red. "He could pass for one of yours though. He's defiantly demented enough to pass for your father's son." Ron muttered the last part.

Malfoy immediately jumped up to confront Ron. "Lucias Malfoy is not my father. He is my sire, but he is not my father. He has and never will be. Got it, Weasel? Or was that too much for you tiny little brain to comprehend?"

"Hey!" a voice barked from the door. "Leave my brother alone would ya?" Ginny stood in the door, her arms crossed over her chest.

Harry saw the same look of want cross Malfoy's face before he could conceal it. He took a protective step toward Ginny and wrapped his arms around her small frame.

"What are you doing in here? And how did you get past the lock?"

"Second question first, you don't live your entire life with Fred and George Weasley living in the next room and not pick up a few tricks. And First question, what with Ferret and Snivellus showing up tonight, I forgot to give you your goodnight kiss." Ginny proceeded to kiss Harry on the lips, before quickly turning and heading back up the stairs, yelling a goodnight to Ron.

Harry turned to see Malfoy looking at his shoes. He didn't know how he was going to live with Malfoy staring at his girlfriend like that for the rest of the summer.

Harry walked over to his bed and climbed in. He took off his glasses and then thought,_ is it really a good idea for me to not wear my glasses with Malfoy and Snape in the same house?_ So Harry stopped his arm, which was halfway to the nightstand, and put his glasses back on.

Harry looked at the floor by the window, and saw Malfoy on his back, staring out the window, his hands making a pillow under his head. Harry got and interesting thought. Malfoy was actually human.

**Okay, so yeah, the ending sucks, but o well. Get over it. Process and Reply. For those of you that do, you get a cookie the size of a big country of your choice, but not Russia or Canada. At least, not yet. Maybe later. Bye bye guys.**

**Tenneyshoes**


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